"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase"

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Hurry and Wait

Mom got some bad news Friday night that she most likely will have to postpone chemo tomorrow due to a "possible bacteria found" on a slide taken from a scan. I'm shy on details and don't clearly understand but didn't ask questions. Mom was extremely frustrated; even in translating the news back to us seemed to make it worse. Today we found out she's actually negative for the bacteria/possible infection and it was a contaminate from the lab. But she still might have to be "officially" clear for 2 weeks before chemo can begin. It's ridiculous and she's already assigned her team of doctors on the case. She's simply not happy because she was pumped and mentally ready to start again, now she can't. Cancer treatment is urgent so you can imagine the frustration.

Hanging in there. Taking it one day at a time. Please send love her way! Thanks for checking in and for your continued love and support.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014


It's one of many sleepless nights. My heart is racing and brain is spinning. I know that I can't sleep until I write my promised post. The update about Mom's upcoming treatments. These words alone are shocking enough. It hasn't been enough time yet. We aren't ready to start more chemo, but we have no choice. The good news is that Mom still does have choices! We find gratitude to fight on and make the best choices that we can!

I found myself peering through medical text about Fluorouracil, Leucovorin, Irinotecan, Docetaxel, and chemo desensitization. As if I know what I'm looking for like I'll find a hidden treasure or some answer we've been searching for. It can consume and frustrate me regardless of all that I know it's the harsh reality of the situation that hurts. I'm not the doctor but no doctor cares about my Mom as much as I do.  Therefore, I continue my search because maybe I'm just trying to process this next battle plan.

So it begins, again. It's been almost 6 years this coming November. It's always a difficult time of year for me. I get flashbacks and feel a pattern setting in during the cold winter months of Mom's past treatments. I'm thousands of miles alway yet I'm right there with her. Mom's fight is still going strong and she's getting ready for more treatments. This time the rumor is every 2 weeks for another 6 months or as long and she can keep pace. Since her fight began in 2008 all doctors agree that her chemo regiment has been hardcore. She pulls through and it's not easy, but she's here to enjoy another day!

This upcoming treatment will be very rough and it begins the week of October 20th just after her kidney stents are changed the previous week. Her recent PET scan shows no changes which is good news that things aren't getting worse and the baseline has been established. 

I posted this picture because it shows Mom taking a break from running errands. She needed to rest and warm up in the sun. Trying so hard but I can see she's in pain and tired...
All this may be true but there's no stopping Kerry Lou!